[Get It $9]

Jesus Action FigureThe most powerful action hero in the past 2 millennia!  The Jesus Action Hero from Accoutrements has posable arms, magical healing capabilities, and shoots lasers from his eyes…well not really, but if we say it long enough people will believe it. 

If your faith is really strong, you’ll want to splurge the extra 2 bucks for the Deluxe Jesus Action Hero; God that’s awesome!

With a price to die for, it’d be a miracle to keep these God forsaken things in stock.  Each hard vinyl Jesus Action Figure stands 5″ (12.7 cm) tall, comes with 3 wishes, and wheels for walking on frozen water.  Don’t think about whether it makes sense, just buy it because it’d be a sin not to.  Remember, Jesus died so you could masturbate! 

 

*If you do not buy the Jesus Action Figure you will burn in Hell for all of eternity.  People who bought this also considered the David Koresh and Marshell Applewhite Action Figures.