Apparently the pen is mightier than the sword; especially a sharp pen. 
If you’re going to have something taking up space on your desk it needs to be creative, family related, or really really expensive.
Dead Fred, made by our good friends at Suck UK, is neither expensive or family related (unless you’re a member of the Manson family).  It is however very inventive and will be sure to give your coworkers a chuckle; watch how fast their smiles disappear when you tell them how it reminds you of the last time you saw your father.

Dead Fred is approximately 5”x 3” and is made of silicone rubber.