The Geyser Automatic Meat and Poultry Baster is the perfect answer for people that prefer a self-basting turkey (via injection) but crave the crisp taste of finely basted baked turkey skin. 

Don’t worry about interruptions or leaving the big game to go baste the bird, just set up the geyser and let it do its thing. 

Just remember to share the good spirit of the season and invite your friends and neighbors to enjoy the perfectly based Thanksgiving Dinner.

[Get It $40]

Make use of that Ph. D with the Cocktail Chemistry Set.  Your friends don’t care about solvents and buffers, the only concoction they want to see you make is the one they can drink.  With a cocktail shaker, Erlenmeyer flask, glass stirring rod, and 4 test tubes you’re guaranteed a good reaction.  So next time you have a problem, just remember that you’ve already got the solution and it’s at the bottom of a test tube full of booze.

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The Onion Goggles from RSVP will keep you from crying next time you have to peal an onion.  Mr. Potato Head is already jealous, claiming he needs a pair of potato goggles to keep from crying every time he looks at Mrs. Potato Head.  

In all seriousness, the Onion Goggles are a pretty sweet tool to have in the kitchen.  Aside from the fact that these glasses actually work to block the volatile onion gas from reaching your eyeballs, they actually look sharp and fit comfortably.

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Now you can have Uranium and you’re ketchup all in the same place!

A fun way to learn your elements or subject your children to your quirky interests.  The Periodic Table Magnets from Simple Memory Art comes in one sheet and can be separated into individual elements (well, not actual elements, but you get the idea). 
Mix and match the elements to arrange your own table, perhaps outsmarting Dmitri Mendeleev in the process, but you’ll probably just make a mess.

Size: 7.4″ x 10.5″ (Sheet)

 
Now you can show how screwed up your child’s drawings really are.

Sick of those weak flimsy magnets falling off the fridge?  You could try bolting your little notes to the door, but that tactic might just compromise the functionality of your refrigerator.  Well fear not, Fred and Friends has the answer yet again and as usual it’s a bit screwed up.

SCREWED UP are four handy magnets that resemble bolts. 

Time to clean up the miscellaneous draw in the kitchen.  The Takeout Menu Organizer from Franklin Covey is the perfect impetus for exacerbating your addiction to takeout.

Perfect for long nights at the office or the lunchtime crunch.  This organizer includes a pen and pad for taking co-workers orders, nine tabbed dividers with menu storage pockets, adhesive tab labels and a list of frequently called numbers*- genus! 

*You may also want to make a list of the places not to order from.

I like where Designer Ran Shnaper is going here, but A) I’m not sure there’s enough water dripping off my dishes to grow healthy plants, and B) there’s never enough room on the rack to begin with, I’m not sure I want herbs taking up valuable utensil space. 
I really do like the idea of having a drying rack that doesn’t need to encroach on the sink for drainage.  It’s also nice to think that I’m recycling.  The main problem here is that this product assumes I cook foods that require spices and that I don’t use the dishwasher to clean my mess; two gravely incorrect assumptions.

*Plastic sprout replicas are for holding dishes and glassware only, not intended for use as cooking herbs.   

Mario and Luigi would blow their loads if they got a hold of this toy. 
The Twirling Spaghetti Fork from Hog Wild is a motorized fork that twirls at 22 revolutions per minute to wind up pasta on the end of a fork.  Unfortunately it doesn’t cook the pasta and put it into your mouth, so it may not be appropriate for the ultimate sloth. 
A great novelty for people that love spaghetti; but believe it or not, this amazing fork works just as well with Linguine, Fettuccine, and Angle Hair pasta! Dishwasher safe metal prong end.

Requires two AAA batteries